Sea of White People

Tonight I saw Cat Power with my new friend Frances. Frances is cool and Cat power was real good. One of the interesting things about indie rock concerts are the sea of white people that white-people-dance to songs that only require a head nod or a foot tap. I picked one of these people and decided to judge him based on characteristics I completely made-up. For the sake of this post the guys name is Gregagary

First off, this guy was wearing a community service shirt. He was probably thinking about that one day out of 365 that he gave a negro a pencil and some yikes erasers. He probably thought that he was a saint and without him that mud baby would never be able to survive. Gregagary is a stupid closet racist.

He wore jean shorts with cargo pockets. Gross! He probably knifed a welfare mother (who prays to the Virgin Mary outside of J.C Penny for a plentiful bounty) just to get those shorts before she could. Guess what? Hers kids aren't gonna have pants, will be expelled from school, and your pencils and yikes erasers will be worthless.

The man wore tevas. Bah! Who does he think he is an olympic sea kayaker. Does he think he is Oliver Fix (gold medalist at the K-1 single man kayak slalom at the 1996 Atlanta Summer Olympics). Well, hes not. He is way to fucking corpulent to navigate any non-motor powered water vehicle.

Then he got his wife a beer. Which was nice, but I know he was thinking about his 12 year old Malaysian sex slave when he was doing it. He was thinking maybe tommorow he'll be real nice to her. He thought, I'll give her a fig newton and a tab and tell her that she'll be able to see her parents real soon. Then bam. When night comes, he'll start beating the shit out of her. He'll say not only are you never going to see your family again, but I'm not gonna let yours eyes set sight on the sun ever again. He is so mean to her.

I hate Gregagary. I hate him so much!