Applied Application

Sweat descends from my forehead, down my cheek, and forms beads that fall from my chin. I am breathing rapidly and my muscles are tense in my biceps and abdomen. I grunt to indicate I have made progress. This is not the inception of my second new years resolution (dubbed operation impregnate a female and abandon her to make the biggest decision of her life alone). This is me versus the pull-up bar in middle school gym. Physical education is not taken seriously by most because of its lack of real world practicality. There should never be a job interview I go to in where the deciding factor of my employment involves push-ups and crunches. Physical Education instructors would gain more accolades if they used their class to help with real life situations. For example, there should be a unit on evading slow-walkers (teaching a way to pass slow inefficient people you are stuck behind who make you late for things and give you sidewalk-road rage). It is very hard to pass slow walkers because they usually take up a lot of space, weave in and out of walking paths, and could speed up at any moment just to be even more obnoxious. If gym taught me to gracefully pass these people using a combination of back flips, modern dance, pure speed, and the type of martial arts Jennifer Lopez learned for the movie Enough I would have appreciated P.E. 400% more. Hopefully radical free thinking athletic instructors are already toying with this idea and bracing for an academic revolution.