Fact
Fact: There are two traits that make people automatically weird
The second sign of being automatically weird; being an only child
Examplesof only children:
Chris Jericho) Professional wrestler and most recently a contestant on clebrity duets. (probably a predator)
Regis Philbin) Most filmed man on television and guest star on an episode of the syndicated cartoon lilo and stitch. (He's a fuking crazy and I shouldn't have say anything to convice you of that)
David Souter) Useless supreme court justice. (Single handidly responsible for both Huricane Katrina and the 1980's erruption of mount St. Helens in the Northwest United States.
Lisa Marie Presley) Famous Daughter of Elvis Presley and Black Belt in Karate (Married Danny Keough, Michael Jackson, Nicolaus Cage, and Michael Lockwood. Her first husband was the best man at her most recent wedding. Plus shes a scientologist. Both her mom and daughter are asthetically appealing though)
Weird Al Yankovic) Musician and star of the Cannes Jury Prize winning film UHF ( I respect that he admits there is a direct connection between being an only child and being weird)
First sign of being automatically weird; being from Ohio
Examples of native Ohio People:
Rutherford Hayes) Bad president
Benjamin Harrison) Bad President
William Henry Harrison) Bad President who chose to die after a month in office.
William McKinley) Average President
William H. Taft) Fat President. This cracker got stuck in a bathtub in the White House.
Warren Gamaliel Harding) Very bad President
James Abram Garfield) President who got his ass (really his arm and back) shot by Charles Julius Guiteau
William Jennings Bryan) Presidential Candidate, proponet of free silver at the value of 1/16th of gold, prosecuter at the scopes monkey trail. He lost the case, lost the presidential election, and we don't use silver today so he fucking lost that debate as well.
Marin Alexander) My friend from Cleveland. Shes a weird-o, trust me.
If anyone wants to quote me in their college thesisis , you have my permission. I don't write these life affirming entries because i am bored, I write them to open eyes and change lives.
The second sign of being automatically weird; being an only child
Examplesof only children:
Chris Jericho) Professional wrestler and most recently a contestant on clebrity duets. (probably a predator)
Regis Philbin) Most filmed man on television and guest star on an episode of the syndicated cartoon lilo and stitch. (He's a fuking crazy and I shouldn't have say anything to convice you of that)
David Souter) Useless supreme court justice. (Single handidly responsible for both Huricane Katrina and the 1980's erruption of mount St. Helens in the Northwest United States.
Lisa Marie Presley) Famous Daughter of Elvis Presley and Black Belt in Karate (Married Danny Keough, Michael Jackson, Nicolaus Cage, and Michael Lockwood. Her first husband was the best man at her most recent wedding. Plus shes a scientologist. Both her mom and daughter are asthetically appealing though)
Weird Al Yankovic) Musician and star of the Cannes Jury Prize winning film UHF ( I respect that he admits there is a direct connection between being an only child and being weird)
First sign of being automatically weird; being from Ohio
Examples of native Ohio People:
Rutherford Hayes) Bad president
Benjamin Harrison) Bad President
William Henry Harrison) Bad President who chose to die after a month in office.
William McKinley) Average President
William H. Taft) Fat President. This cracker got stuck in a bathtub in the White House.
Warren Gamaliel Harding) Very bad President
James Abram Garfield) President who got his ass (really his arm and back) shot by Charles Julius Guiteau
William Jennings Bryan) Presidential Candidate, proponet of free silver at the value of 1/16th of gold, prosecuter at the scopes monkey trail. He lost the case, lost the presidential election, and we don't use silver today so he fucking lost that debate as well.
Marin Alexander) My friend from Cleveland. Shes a weird-o, trust me.
If anyone wants to quote me in their college thesisis , you have my permission. I don't write these life affirming entries because i am bored, I write them to open eyes and change lives.
posted by the bureau at
10:06 AM
1 Comments:
One slight correction (and I'm largely in agreement on the rest): Bryan actually won the Scopes trial; the jury came back with a verdict of Guilty and Scopes was hit with a fine (which I believe was 50 bucks). It's perceived as a defeat for Bryan because Clarence Darrow has since been seen as occupying the moral high ground of the matter (in actuality, both attorneys had little to do with the nuts and bots of the case; they signed on as orators for their respective positions more than anything). What's been forgotten is that Bryan based his opposition to teaching Evolution not on religious grounds (though that was part of it), but because of his fear that a theory such as Darwin's could be used as a foundation to undo all manner of progressive reform (in other words, why aid the blighted and dispossessed when Science holds that some orders are lower than others?).
How the hell did I get on to this?
Oh yeah. Nice blog! I think you may be the first such site to name itself after a series on my corner of the blogosphere ('If Charlie Parker Was a Gunslinger . . . '). You do us much honor.
Good luck!
By
TAS, at 8:23 PM
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