Burrito Epiphany

Yesterday I ate a relatively large burrito even though I was not very hungry. I over ate, which is one of the worst feelings in the galaxy. Do you know what it feels like to over eat? Do you? You bitches and bichettes. No, no you don't. You could not imagine. If I dug up Edgar Allen Poe's corpse, reanimated it, and commitioned him to write a poem about my pain, he would only be able to capture 2/3s of my depressing story at best. I felt like taking my plastic utensils, going into the restroom, and slowly gliding the knife over my veins until I could be released from my culinary captivity.
The only good that came of the event was I had an Epiphany. I don't ever want to over eat again. No one should have to feel the effects of overeating and this pressing issue has not been properly adressed on mtv U news or any other young people news feeds. So decided If I can't find an internship this summer I will travel to parts of Africa and Southeast Asia. I want to tell these poor peoples of the dangers of over eating and warn them of the direct and indirect consequences.
They don't have big screen TVs and Verizon Business DSL. They can't just learn about these problems hanging around the water cooler on a monday morning. They need my help, or one day they will all be too full and lethargic to defend their village from a pack of the angriest fucking wilderbeasts you've ever seen. All the villagers gone; their time honored coustoms and traditions lost in the obscurity of time.