God's Favorite Color

What color somewhere inside of a rainbow is worth me blasphemizing for the title of this post? What color if put into a math equation would equal an erection? What color if entered into the 2008 Beijing olympics would create a new event and do so spectacular that it would get all three metals and ace the drug test? What is the color of a child's laughter if you disected his or her brain to find the cluster of nerves that make gigglies happen? What color has enough street cred to leave its money on a table in South East D.C. and not have it stolen by an angry social club (gang); and also enough old white people cred to walk down to capitol hill the next day and have a late lunch with a senator at Kincaids. What color could oil be to make people smile while they watch puffins and seals writhe and suffocate after a major eco-disaster? What color did George Washington fantasize about when he was inserting himself into Martha Washington? What color could use its awesome power to make poor people smell less bad? What color did Eva Braun not wear on her wedding day or the following day when she took a cyanide pill and then was cremated? The answer to all these rhetoical questions is turquoise. The Natioal Association on Mental Illness (Nami) claims that if every girl wore turquoise for at least one day a year there would be at least a 45% decrease in teen suicide. It is an undisputable baseless declaration that God most definately loves turquoise.