They Go Crazy When They See Me

I went to a resume help session. Many of the kids were extremely driven and were asking questions about how many internships they should include, what order club presidencies should be listed, and I think some students just raised there hands and mentioned they traded a personaility and creativity for 4.0s. Besides getting angry that i was competing with the souless, I started to ponder what things on my resume would make me stand out. Under other related job skills, I am planning to write 'asian people love me' (which happens to be true) Business is globablizing and there are billions of Asian people that need someone to give their money to; I would prefer they would give their money to me. Being loved by an entire race of people is not something earned from a class or a skill that can be downloaded from a peer 2 peer. I was born with this and plan to use it to distinguish myself from the masses of northfaces and uggs attached to bodies.

Applied Application

Sweat descends from my forehead, down my cheek, and forms beads that fall from my chin. I am breathing rapidly and my muscles are tense in my biceps and abdomen. I grunt to indicate I have made progress. This is not the inception of my second new years resolution (dubbed operation impregnate a female and abandon her to make the biggest decision of her life alone). This is me versus the pull-up bar in middle school gym. Physical education is not taken seriously by most because of its lack of real world practicality. There should never be a job interview I go to in where the deciding factor of my employment involves push-ups and crunches. Physical Education instructors would gain more accolades if they used their class to help with real life situations. For example, there should be a unit on evading slow-walkers (teaching a way to pass slow inefficient people you are stuck behind who make you late for things and give you sidewalk-road rage). It is very hard to pass slow walkers because they usually take up a lot of space, weave in and out of walking paths, and could speed up at any moment just to be even more obnoxious. If gym taught me to gracefully pass these people using a combination of back flips, modern dance, pure speed, and the type of martial arts Jennifer Lopez learned for the movie Enough I would have appreciated P.E. 400% more. Hopefully radical free thinking athletic instructors are already toying with this idea and bracing for an academic revolution.

Mysterious Ways

Renee Descartes has tried to prove the existance of God in his book, Meditations on First Philosophy. Since then, many other philosophers and people in general have tried to reason if there is a God. Sometimes this belief is questioned. For instance, people in Indonesia were not estatic when a giant wave destroyed the lives and property of thousands. It is difficult for an Indonesian who had very little to begin with, and then loses everything, to approach church with a heart brimming with faith. There are countless other examples of seemingly unfair occurances including terminal ilnesses, the loss of a loved one, and the armenian massacre of the early 20th century. The answer that many provide is that God works in mysterious ways. Like... I guess... there was some divine reason for an Armenian genocide from 1915 to 1917. I have recently had my own conflict of faith. I have not been able to find the nintendo wii anywhere. I've been calling a whole bunch of video game and electronics stores. The result is constant rejection fused with laughter and a type of depression that I thought only existed in Spanish independent films . Maybe God has a purpose for holding the wii in back order for so long after the holiday season. But if God is hoarding hundreds of wiis I still can't figure out why playing 100 systems of revolutionary interface and completely unique gaming experience would be better than just using one. I guess the overrated band U2 was correct when Bono sung, "It's all right, it's all right, it's all right/ she moves in mysterious ways/ O-o-oh"